Mom vs. Mom : Discipline

Last week has been an odd one.  My husband left early Monday morning for the (very chilly) city of Minneapolis for the “Desiring God” pastors conference.  He had a great time and really enjoyed experiencing winter for the first time.  For me, it meant I was single-parenting until his return Thursday.  Every time he goes on a trip now I gain more and more respect for single moms!  Most nights I would crash very early, and under the circumstances blogging wasn’t been a priority.  Since his return I haven’t been able to catch up enough around the house to start blogging again.

While my husband was gone a friend invited us over for dinner.  She has a daughter about Mirabelle’s age so it was a play date built into a wonderful dinner out of the house.  While there we, of course, had to battle a few disagreements between the two girls as well as deal with a few individual discipline situations during their playtime.  This brought about a discussion about disciplining your own children in front of your mom friends.

The scenario is this:  Let’s say that one of your personal rules is that your child is not allowed to run around the house screaming and hollering and this is usually understood in your home and beyond.  Now your at your friends home and her child is running around the house with your child playing and he is screaming and hollering..naturally your child gets wrapped up in the fun and starts to mimic the boys behavior.  Your mom friend is not correcting since for her this is NOT a problem but this goes against YOUR rule for behavior.  If you correct your child you may come off as passive-aggressively condemning your friends parenting skills but if you do not correct your child you are being inconsistent in your parenting and will have to spend extra time re-training your child if you so choose to eliminate this behavior again.

So ..what is the right thing to do here?  Is there a way to discipline your child in a way that will not offend your mom friend?



Filed under life as a parent, Mom vs. Mom

4 responses to “Mom vs. Mom : Discipline

  1. Hm, I’m not sure what I would do. We like to run around screaming and hollering in our house… But Judith knows that in other people’s houses sometimes we need to be quiet. She’s pretty good about it, as long as I tell her right at the beginning that she isn’t to run around/yell etc there and why. If someone came here and the same thing was happening as you said, I would probably just tell Judith to be respectful of our guests. She listens pretty well if I give a valid reason. It would be harder if she was younger and didn’t understand though. It might make for an awkward situation if I wasn’t really good friends with the other mom. I’m not sure what the “right” thing to do would be. Although personally, I would not be offended that the other mom has different rules and I would try to be respectful, unless the mom tried to discipline MY child.

  2. 1urbanmom

    I should also note that this scenario actually happened to my friend. They were at a superbowl party at a friends house (but it was a home of a family with no kids!). One mom was letting her son run around and scream but my friend didn’t want to let her daughter do the same so she corrected her daughter’s behavior. This angered the mother of the little boy!

  3. That would be tricky. I think I would try to distract both children into an activity that would be acceptable to everyone. It skirts the issue and solves the problem.

  4. I think Tammi has the right idea. I wouldn’t bring it up in front of the other child, or the mom, but instead take my child aside quietly and instruct them.

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