I have realized lately I have been particularly impatient and down right disrespectful towards my daughter. Now you might look at that word “disrespect” as spoken by a parent about her child and think I misspoke but stick with me. In order to teach our children to respect their parents as well as others and themselves, we must first teach them respect by respecting them as well. I fear I have been quick to expect her to meet expectations she is not ready to accomplish and then I quickly loose my cool. What I should have been doing is modeling it FIRST. If I could take a deep breath, analyze the situation, I could correct the situation by then modeling it and lessening her frustration before it leads to a meltdown before it leads to her being disrespectful (which I in turn, too often, take personally).
I have been simultaneously reading two books. One that I have been reading off and on for the last year and the other I just began on a recommendation. The first is called “Positive Discipline” and the other is “How to Really Love Your Child”. One is written from a Christian Perspective and the other is a secular parenting book. I have gained a lot so far from both of these books and they are both very much in line philosophically.
What I have learned is that I need to spend the next week focusing on 4 P’s that I used to be MUCH better at: Peace, Patience, Positive focus, and Perserverance. Sometimes the morning will be going fine and I will let one meltdown change the tone for the rest of our day together. I have been resorting to threats (for timeouts, countdowns, toy removals, etc…) and I swore that wouldn’t be me! I have very little patience these days because I am letting some personal issues I am dealing with spill over into how I interact with my daughter, and just about everyone truthfully. I need to do better about setting aside those distractions and giving myself fully to her because it is the non-verbal communication that she hears louder than anything I speak to her. Starting tomorrow I am going to work very hard at restoring these values…starting with peace and a positive spirit. I know God has called me to love her in a more respectful and compassionate way than I have been.