My baby-girl is a baby no more!! As of 11:06 pm last evening, Mirabelle turned two! Its amazing been such an amazing journey thus far. I had so many wonderful and joyous expectations about motherhood and all have been exceeded!
There have been a ton of hurdles and unexpected challenges, but its fun to look back now and laugh at that sleep deprived, inexperienced version of myself and see all we have survived and learned. The newest “accomplishment” is that Mirabelle is, for the most part, sleeping through the night. This has only been happening for about a week now so I am still holding my breath on this one. For the last two years I would refer to her as my “broken sleeper” and I swore she would never sleep soundly as long as she lived!! Oh..the comedy of a tired Momma! Now she is sleeping like an angel. Looking back I realize that 2 years of getting up a few extra times a night to nurse, co-sleeping, the whole lot of it..it was TOTALLY worth it. So I lost some sleep..I got to spend more time physically and emotionally connecting with my daughter because that is her unique design and her needs at the time. It does however make having subsequent children seem MUCH more possible now in comparison to a season where it seemed near impossible!
In reflecting on her true BIRTH day, I realized I am truly healing (not past tense yet) from the emotional scars of my C-section. It is a huge relief. This year, like last, I replayed the moments in my mind leading up to my surprise induction, my 30 hour labor, and then my emergency C-section. After that mental account, no tears fell from these eyes and I could only smile and thank God for my precious gift! What a blessing she is to us.
#3 here we come…
Mirabelle Ani just minutes old!
Mirabelle's 1st birthday picture.
Mirabelle's 2nd Birthday photo shoot!
Eventually the “Sunday Snapshot” will stop being so lame! I wanted it to be of service to this “dying” former professional photographer in a way that would force me to get out at least once a week and photograph. Naturally when I do photograph, since becoming a mom, I love taking pictures of my daughter, so I hoped this would also serve as a (at least) monthly growth chart.
For now..this week I present to you my request for mother’s day! I rarely ask for specific gifts. Come Christmas season I cringe when I hear those 4 words “What do you want?”. This year on a made-up holiday I very clearly want something very specific! I fell in love with this painting after finding out I was having a girl. I found out that Ikea has the print for sale and I really want it for my bedroom.
Night-Weaning went from going almost too smoothly (which made me suspicious since NOTHING about Mirabelle’s sleep her entire life has been easy), to rough, to non-existent. That’s right, I committed the cardinal sin of CAVING as a result of exhaustion. On Wednesday she woke up multiple times in the bed and would sit up screaming “NURSE” and when I would as her to lay back down and explain that we would nurse in the morning she would say “no Momma, PLEASE- NURSE!”. So I caved. The Attachment Parent in me started feeling like this wasn’t feeling right.
I know (hope) that at some point this year I’ll be pregnant again and based on what I have seen in both friends and have read and heard, it sounds like she will wean completed during the pregnancy because you eventually lose your milk. I know this isn’t necessarily true for all I am hoping it will be the case for us because I am not up for tandem nursing..especially if I am needing to meet the demands of a newborn and my night-waking toddler.
The one thing that I DO need to figure out (night-weaning or not) is how I can get my husband into the nighttime parenting mix. Right now my daughter will not allow him to have any part of the night time parenting what-so-ever! Its terrible for ALL OF US. She loves him and is definitely bonded to him but not when it has anything to do with sleep. Last night after I nursed her before bed he took her to her bed to get her to sleep and she laid in there and screamed and cried for about 45 minutes. He finally brought her back out to me to nurse again and luckily she did pass out. I think that is going to need to be our first step though in integrating him into nighttime parenting. As Dr. Sears says, its ok for your child to cry as long as they aren’t crying alone. If he is snuggling her in the bed and trying to soothe her to sleep and she needs to cry we are going to have to be ok with that. So often in the past I have come in to “rescue” her and I know that’s what she is waiting for. For now I will continue to go in and nurse her during the night but I think I will turn over the bedtime routine post-nursing to him.
Thanks for listening to my rambling as I work this out on “paper”. Any thoughts, opinions, or ideas..feel free to share!