Category Archives: spirituality

ok ok ok..

So I stink at commitment when it comes to this blog.  I wanted to do a 35 day photo posting thinking that would both dedicate me to posting every day, and also give me time to gear up for posting true, substantial and heart-felt blog posts but that didn’t work as you have seen!

Not to mention we got some really big and exciting news in the midst of this that I have been dying to share and now that we have finally told family the news I can share it with you… I AM PREGNANT WITH BABY #2!

It was fun to tell my husband this time around..I surprised him when he came home from work with the news.  I dressed up our daughter in a t-shirt that read “I’m The Big Sister” but it took him a good 5-7 minutes to notice it.  I actually  had to point out to him she had a new shirt on before he actually read it!  Then he finally caught on..

We are very excited and feel truly blessed by this precious gift.  But I need to lay a very serious prayer request out there for anyone still reading.  This is hard for me to share since so few people actually know about this to date. Last year I was diagnosed with Epilepsy.  I am under the care of a Neurologist and am taking AED medications.  I still have a lot of doubts about the validity of my diagnosis and was looking into getting a 2nd opinion when I found out I was pregnant.  Because my current DR. is very certain I am having seizures and no on will question this or make adjustments to my current regimen while I am pregnant, this means I will have to stay on my AED medication throughout my pregnancy.  While I happen to be on one of the safest of the AED meds. on the market (and I am only on ONE vs. multiple prescriptions), there are still elevated risks of birth defects as compared to if I was on no medication.  basically my risk goes from 3-5% to 10%.

One risk is a neural tube defect.  I have my  first doctors appt. on 9/2 and we will be past the point in the pregnancy when the neural tube should have closed so we will know by that point if we are out of the woods there.  The other big concern will be a cleft lip and/or palate and we should have our answer concerning that at our 20 week anatomy ultrasound.  When I first began reading about these defects and statistics I grew petrified.  I started having anxiety attacks!  I have since remembered that regardless of the outcome, there is new life that God has created and He is in control.  He has a beautiful plan for this child and I know he is protecting us. Also, there is so much more research in our favor that he/she will be completely healthy and brilliant!!  So, I ask you to join me in praying for my child and for me to continue to trust in God.

Thank You!



Filed under pregnancy, spirituality

And we wonder why its so hard to believe!

To all the athiest, etc.. who read my blog…NO, THIS IS NOT CHRISTIANITY!  When you watch the following video you get a great showing of what Christian hyprocracy is.  Our churchs are FILLED with fair-weather “believers” like this young lady.  Its VERY sad.


Filed under rant, spirituality

The Cenacle Retreat


Today I will be heading up to the north side of town to attend a Catholic run retreat center called The Cenacle.  The word “cenacle” means quite literally “to commune”.  The purpose of their center is for people to come for a period of time for rest, prayer, meditation, fasting, etc..  Some people go there to mourn and heal while others are there to seek the Lord for help in guidance in major life directions.  There are MANY reasons to spend an extended period in meditation and communion with God. Some people go for a day or weekend while others have stayed for extended periods of time.

For me, I am needing rest, restoration, and to seek guidance in getting back on track in where my life should be headed physically and spiritually.  I haven’t felt this spiritually dry in a long time.  Lately I have wondered if I was depressed again which is something I haven’t struggled with since early in college, but I think I am just so spiritually blah and lonely that I am confusing that with feeling depressed.

When I get there today I will get a key to my room.  Its a very small room with a bed, desk, and a sink area and that’s it (very modest- think Sister Act when they take her to her cell but more like a tiny dorm room feel less medieval cell).  Most of my time will be spent outdoors today.  Their grounds are spectacular.  They have walking trails, lots of places to sit and enjoy the surroundings and read, as well as a walking prayer labyrinth.  The first time I visited the retreat center I had never participated in a prayer labyrinth before but I decided to try it and it was a great experience.  I will also meet with a spiritual director early in the morning who will help talk through what it is that I want to focus on during my stay.  They ask a lot of questions to help draw out a more specific prayer focus.  The first time I did this I was very nervous and intimidated and I felt like I rambled for an hour about everything in my life that bothered me!!  The last time I went I felt like I had a more realistic understanding of the role of the spiritual director.

I will also be journaling a few times throughout the day so I will be sharing those on this blog in the coming days.

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Filed under life, local, picture post, spirituality